My Differentiable Guise

 When I last remembered myself, i was a child.

When i recollect myself today am still a bit wild

No way, anyways we have to get it alive

Never would there ever be time, cuz it's this moment or it's a strive

trying to bring this ambiguity to some surmise

doomed to it's hesitance i can't derive

further to and from here.. and i can't be arrived

bringing it to this moment as am deprived

knowing the masters and their benevolent rise

the journey seems tough yet with a reprise

if i ever learn to survive with a smile

it will be that beauty.. but only for a while

slithered through though, through these notions beguile

oh masters when will i ever finally arrive

this constant motion for this engaging divide

this pricking sobreity ...this magnanimous stride

let me go to this place whenever i die

where angels lay in wait but not to derive

for if there is solace in this forever strive

let me just tell you..

am alive ...am alive

This nothingness of everything

This is my most prudent effort to all the nothingness i find in everything these days

A very mild yet equivocal summation of my forbearing thoughts this year

Representing the very best and the very worst of that very best

A catapult dive into the carefully navigated trenches of the conditioned

To a moment of solidarity and a brief handshake with the indomitable Mr. Spirit

and a quick reflection of the outside world as it appears from the vantage point of it all

Never such a tendency to never rise back.. Never such an unseen perception of the far away exterior

Only to briefly hold my senses ransom am I given this moment
And Of the immense limitation it already is to not be

Ahoy and behold your captive senses for the mighty spirit is awakened
Only for a moment of solidarity.. Only for a moment of singularity

Awaken still to the purpose of this life and holding on to this momentary reflection I hear a voice within

You can't stay here longer in this nested paradise of your souls warm caress

And the spirit ran back to the comfort of the superficial and the sedate livery of this world

Leaving nothing but a trace of the serendipity..leaving nothing but a luminous trail back to obscurity

Leaving nothing but an unquenched thirst for a bit more
Of the true identity of this soul with its surprises galore

I leave the comfort of my home...
I leave the shelter of my soul..

Verbal Vortex of a talking soul

When you see that you are seeing yourself while you are seeing yourself.. This is what I hear myself say

You are just a beautiful friend, not a stranger from another galaxy, not a common mortal from an uncommon dimension..

You are who you are..a free spirit tired in the duality of existence..

Where the desire to free your self gets weighed down by this world's senseless gratification towards instant reward...

Trapped deep within layers of conditioned consciousness and unable to express your true self

You are fighting on a different ground and you are not going to loose it , for the world around you is to blatant to understand..

You are fighting it to prove it to nobody but yourself and that you didn't begin this to not know how to end it..

But you know you have to end it one day. The charade is despicable... And when you do end it can only be strewn deeper into a million more layers till it shines forth

Never is there a time to say no because you woke up today to know more..

I know you know I don't know you as much as I would like to but you don't know how much I already do to not tell you or for you to ever know

Your loving soul

Time'us

Waiting for the eternity to entwine into itself so that there is no reference point in time that you can't turn back to and

for the continuum to keep on keeping on till you get all that you deserve or till you get to that point when you get another chance to deserve what you begot

If not then there has to be a knot.. Not in the time dimension but in the way the space between two memories starts to shrink to a point where all you can want is a neural leap

or your perception to break and you tie the two distant memories back from where the perpetual bending of time and space has to carry itself over this thought..

a breaking point for this time story or more like time ditching time again

Raindrop

Oh no.. .. just like that when it rains from behind a place we call heavens.. Obscured by the dark clouds that mire my mind yet I feel the journey of that drop traveling all the way hitherto onto your pale and parched skin and bloom it to life. Till now it's was just an anonymous drop now it's resplendent on you like a glow from the same heaven from where it started its journey but lost mid way owing to the weathered storm we call life

The Ephemeral Dance of Infinitude

here's to probable universes in one  dimension
though we can't see one

here's to multitudes of dimensions in each realm
though we can't see one

here's to a plethora of realm's in every reality
though we can't see one

here's to multiple realities for every moment
though we can't see one

here's to those numerous moments in that one blink
though we can't see one

here's to every paradigm that that blink brings
though we can't see one

here's to those multiple paradigm's extrovert'ing out into a thought vertex
thought we can't see one

here's to such vertices in many spaces
though we can't see one

here's to all those spaces in all of our realities
though we can't see one

here's to all those regressions in these multiple realities
though we can't see one

here's to all the probabilities to each of these regressor's
though we can't see one

here's to every co-efficient that probability brings for that new angle
though we can't see one

here's to any material tangibility that worked on that angle
though we can't see one

here's to any angle in the material existences that co-efficiently leneated a materiality
though we can't see one

here's to all the atomic particles that are looking like god in this materiality
though we can't see one

here's to all the unknown god particles that are dancing to this rhythm
thought we can't see one

here's to the dance of such an ephemeral life
though we can't see one!!!!!!!!!!

This Forever Invi(n)sible Divide

I have lived through limitless thoughts that shout and split one through the minute

I have saved my mind through the pinnacles and depths of emptiness it seems

There is never a moment of respite from a cold'ened heart of many winters

There is no measure to gauge the emptiness of a cold and immesurable soul lost in splinters

There is only one point of sanity or inner place of sanctity somewhere in the unfathomable middle

There is only one point of concentration ..the moment of truth sitting in a solemn self explained dribble

Ridiculous as it may sound the fear of vast emotions that empty themselves at the rate of million thoughts per day is not an easily understood ordeal

A day at a time is too lame for this moment to moment existence either

My only solitude or solace for the lack of a better word to existence is my prayer to this unknown

My everyday conversation with the universe within to see If its listening to my pleadings

After all that's the realm i can't see and that's where lies my darkest unknown fears too and there is so much of no reflection

The most gracious prayer i can have for this universe within and the external universe without after years and years of not trying to know

For what I have lost ..the ability to distinguish between any of these finer realms and this is not an innate loss of the mundane cognition that I thrive to strive on materially

There is just no reason unbelievable, no thought unthinkable, no action un-followable and no words unspeakable that can define this kind of long endured sanity

This is a realm of the empty, sphere of the void and the dimension of no return ..no vantage points to even observe what's changing from what's changed

This is me when i am more lost then confused and less mindful then would care to know if you would mind

But please please forgive me if my mindless words hurt you ever now or whenever . . i retract not the unspoken for the fear of guilt is overpowered the notion and still cant express the spoken for the freedom of expression hinges on to this very limitedly

For I have chosen to always be split continuously between particle matter and energy waves where my words were half thought and my kindness and chivalry forever lost and I always fought

These scary depths were very frightening from moment to moment but these were also my many years of serenity founded on this invincible divide

Split up to my pains and rounded up against my happier gains
I am no mercenary of the sober neither am i a sucker for insane ..i only remain
My limitations are still very unique and i only see them through the shades of a ripened grain husk

No matter how hardly i try i cant escape these boons and banes ...suffer i must ..i must

Away from normality its never going to be a shame ..man of my instincts ..they always let me 
Know whether i am ever going to be in the game

Thought voiding Time

... The question is why do we think so much?

Is it because our lives are a scripted saga of emotions  strangely responsive to forever changing external stimuli

Well for all I know..our minds won't atleast readily quell the prevaricated bearings of seemingly inferior intellect which we have no ways to trace to any legacy for now without relativity

Additionally... We are party to such grand evolutionary cycles that our cluttered minds with its limited time can't even fathom itself out of its immediate cytoplasmic bound existence

Or is it that our ability to chase a thought back to its origins and to wrestle it down with our reasoning of what we thought could have been the point of its origination isn't exactly where we see the dots being connected either?

Well.. If not then it has got to be somewhere deep in the middle of our sub conscious and conditioned reason, where we probably feel the need to harbour to relativity so that the fear of the unknown doesn't sweep the ground underneath us is where we stop being thoughtless momentarily atleast?

And somewhere from there to when we try to surface up to our sensory cognition, we loose our way and wonder if we are being subjective to our own perceived reality ... This time loosing thoughtlessness one unintended thought every entwine

This ingenuity of flawed perception, this relentless pursuit of subjugation, this sustained degradation of thought, this necessary introspection of benignness leading us to know-where land meets sky kind of horizons always?

Yet grounded to its feet and with eyes glued to this seemingly bottomless horizon of thoughtfullness lies the poor man whose search for freedom from this vestige and this visceral sublimity ...should it come any sooner,  grant  him the courage to raise his vision far beyond the seen, the felt and the known nature of this time bound thought

And still somewhere into this unknown zone  is where the spirit unites with the soul and where the search for anything Unknown far superceeds the search of origin... Outside of our no relating minds and into our super conscious souls... One necessary thought less thought with time voiding time

The good lurking in the dark

There is so much to the spec of light in everyone's heart that looks through the darkness of failures

The individuality of this spec itself is so phantomic that only the ageless soul understand

However there is a statistical anamoly in my life... Some kind of a stagnant thought that keeps tipping the scale even if it is for no reason... of any considerable belief ... On the darker side of things.. Even while the light lasts less longer and the darkness prevails mostly throughout.. speaking strictly Outside of the realm of our earthly rotations

Look.. Let me explain... Our universe is a blanket of darkness for God's sake.. And the brightest of its stars are just specs dimming and shining in the contrast of this darkness... There is a statistical anamoly don't you think

Why would the black holes be eating up all the stars otherwise.. Consider it... Consider it...

So sometimes I think nothing exists in equal parts ever ... spatially if the sum of the collective parts can't ever match up to the whole. .

There is a stagnant thought .. It's just a thought.. not out of a dream... But  from the deepest crevices of the good dark...

Like spots of darkness on a canvas of light . Think Polaroid.. Emptiness of noise ...A negative flash... An inverted equation ..

A celestial glory ... a winning dark

Then there was that

Random as it may sound to its headless instinct
And sought right down below to its deepest precinct

The memory of collective notions from my mindless thoughts
What belligerence it ought not to have forgot to tie some meaningful knots

There is no mastery to ones own limitations to limitless thoughts
Rather there should be some definitions to some kind of an art of this sort

To the Mind's, less in motion and its perpetual existence that carry us lots
Of the meandering dreamy surreality around us and the purposefulness to us glottal bots

Speaking of no spatiality in this contentious clot
There is no sublimation on the planes of whether or not

It has to stop,it has to stop...

Serenity Juxtaposed

Of nature and its infinite void I speak
Of the nature of infinitism I beseek

Of the limited perplexes I seek borned
Of staggered paths i see unite crisscrossed

Of inter transmitorry vibes I combine
Of grand gestures that I divide

Of regulating norms in synchrony I challenge
Of spatiating fractals I seek but don't find

Of serenity and calm I state my mind
Of trying to mark the stark I divide

Of regression in discomfort I confide
Of never too submissive thoughts I chide

Of the simplicit nods that I revise
Of the melancholic odds I so prize

Of curative halves I imbibe
Of reclusive stats I mesmerize

Of serenity ànd calm I state my mind
Of trying to mark the stark I divde

Of the limited dye in which I express my dive
Of the makeshift patterns I identify

Off the surface of serenity I ply
Juxtaposed in intrigue that just won't comply

Nostalgic sublimity

Nostalgia as it happens to be a spiritual sublime
For reflections in the past only happen through time

There is a great essence to this feeling we uprise
There is a subtle sublimity it brings as a prize

Ever so ardent and never so bland it will surprise
For the seakers of begotten times it will never even surmise

The journey back in time is eloquently spewn in times
Where there have been specificities rather untold up for finds

Come let us journey through this magnanimity of a kind
Let us rave through these rocks for we must always grind

The hidden treasure trove of memories lie unwound
For we need our emissaries to throw back on what we confound

Bring in the alibies and let them take a stance
For illusions are to be broken in the light of a chance

Let us spread the joy of the upheaval while we dance
The words come out like a spectacle so let us enhance

Rigidity in motion or callous frigid thoughts
Got to break the moments and make new so they last

Starry night starrrrrry night ...

In the collective humility of stars I thrive
With their burning zest I still survive

Under their radiant twinkling but gentle flares I dance
Knowing the limited fuel I have to last.. I take a chance

within the limitless possibilities of dimensions I travel
With my mind unraveled to the mysteries I marvel

In the ethnic though of the creation I surrender my unison
To this omnipresence I unfathom my intriguing vision

under their radiant twinkling but gentle flares I dance
Knowing the limited fuel I have to last.. I take a chance

There is hardly a night with fewer opportunities entwined
When the turbulent gates of far flung energy sources crystallize in time

In their collective rhythmic accord they shine through the night
Emanating souls into their inter transitory spatial rues with a delight

The aura of a parallel existence is so true I won't even fight
The tripling motion from a dancers feet to seek the truth which is in flight

There is a connection with this entwine in ways that even the genomic unwinds
Starting a spectacular show between sonic showers of never heard frequencies that it finds..

The primaeval story that the stars collectively sing in trance and yet hide
There is no apprehension to the inhibitions it liberates in its stance stride after stride... 

nostalgic glee

We got a juggernaut that's not rolling on its own...bid adieu to your apprehensions my friends as we reconvene here...

 there are no pretences as we reel in nostalgic moments of our serenity ...let your emotions flow in glee ...like a river might into the sea..

The Silent Sonic Whisperer!!!

the shaman spells his magic in loud and unspoken whispers and nature blows him a breeze back around...

the shaman harmonises with these reverberating whispers rebounding from nature..giving him the strength n power with which he keeps his course on ground ;)

A light without its dark!!!

 My 100th blog post..please do read and comment..thanks!

A light without its dark!!!

A photon's journey from its inter vibratory states is transmutable...
A view on light in transition from its brilliance to flickering brilliance through it's inter vibratory phases..

Transitory encounters with the darker greens on the negative side of the vibratory spectrum lie the invisible and unsung heroes..
As they say there is light on the other side of the dark tunnel... Technically i think it's the light trying to penetrate the darkness but unable to do so

So to contemplate that light is incremental in itself without any darkness does not quite fit well for the darkness is not the absence of light.. It is an existence in its own realm..and has its own complex nature which is least understood to many

How less I know about the darkness that compliments our photonic heroes are as retrograding as these little pockets of light energies themselves but that is not my interest in knowing here..

It is the relatively of the darkness and the dance in its own essence that has the light bound to it ...that's most intriguing to me..what would it be,  I think..of the light, had there been no darkness for us to conceive it apart from

Complimentary or not the darkness never seizes to exist.. Throwing my knowledge to a limitless wonder on how little I  know about the matter that hides most of my inner consciousness and the outer unparalleled universe at large...

Yet the inter vibratory photons or packets of light energy keep a momentum going that seem quite linear in nature given how i see the light, from the moment it left the sun to 8 minutes after we usually see it...

And in this transit and within its own transitory motion..a photon or packet of light creates a parallel existence by recreating every real aspect that light materialises on its journey to earth and rematerialized them as I begin to perceive this play...so much for not seeing the unseen

So I remain as mere recipient of transitory states of light with single helical  perceptions of the wave motion..receiving incomplete packets of information emitted from a source that too back in time...and so oscillating between the past and an unforeseeable presents of time..

This makes me think of my very perception of time from the moment the packets i visualise through my constantly analysing senses and conceptualising mind..to the consistent viel that nature chooses to hide itself from me by playing a sort of hide and seek ..what is called Maya..playing with my senses in gratification, keeping me working away from my ultimate soul goal of nirvana or state of bliss

So if the time as I know in its passing were to be defined by the blink of an eye in perception of light... The darkness that keeps the blink functional is very essential too I guess

So what If it is the absence of light.. Darkness is how our brains works too.. in differentiating when it should be working and when not..

When so much is riding on the fact that light has to be supported by darkness...why is darkness the least known to me... Be it in my mind or out of my mind.

The riddle of nature is forever mesmerising to my soul...for I wonder, if my nature is connected with the nature around than does it exist in parallels too..Reverberating in its existence, every vibratory visible physical  state

..if yes than  is there another me somewhere in the ethereal nether world that's constantly looking down around or up to its in between state...

playing its part in the larger play of Maya super consciously..away from the light..in the darker spectrum of the negative greens and other invisible and inconceivable planes..

I wonder if there is any light without it's dark or the other way around...

Either ways it's only fair I keep on wondering looking for answers...if the
 Phrase there's only so much that meets our eyes is true...I look yonder..deeper and wider ..to learn n know more about life's mysteries..

hoping one day I will know the answers..if not all..at least some of them to rest my mind in peace on my vibratory counterparts and stay Celeste in the knowing.

A Journey's Tale in Parts!!!

The reason and power to equalize our thoughts and the sanity in duality are ever so conflicting that the sundry brain meagerly assimilates the drama that's ever so prescribing it's changing landscapes as it should make a thought believe...

the ethnic one... out of it's own selflessness... begins to delve out of these never ending subjugation's..
in it's ever so summarizing and deliberating consonants that tend to resonate their rhymes time upon imposing time...

with this ideology..the summing of the total parts of a journey .. as it beings with its spectacular objectives perceived in it's  probable equatable parts
and with  an imaginative end to fathom what's begot...a journey to summation sparsely driven with the zest to glutton in it's own glory begins to sort...

with an end that is to begin the sublimity of  ever so anticipating entwines...in consummating parts and as actors in a play that must play their yin and yan consorts..
to be making an act that would circumvent itself around it's rigorous bots..the beginning must come around and wind...as when the dusk's descends itself upon after every dawn...

the zen in completion is party comprehensible due to it's incompleteness..it's etat...and party due to it's completeness ...as in a completed thought...

somehow the relative subjunctive seems so inter twined that the journey won't present enough surprises in itself to ever be aligned to it's own thought...

secluded in it's own path to eternity...so far as eternity is entwined.. the journey shall keep wondering when  the reality is going to be in line..in it's own plausible haute...

never bothered about it's deliberative ends..and hardly in remembrance of it's solitary beginnings...the coil of journey's life meets its objections midway and somewhere from where it is poised to be sanctimoniously sought...
to find itself through this unity that it would be forever denied...notions falling apart in it's perception ..if it were to contemplate for who it was from what it thought...

to the beginning that was to warp it's self back to the start of the line only to find..  life beyond the ethereal dual mind..
partly sublimed and partly in its arduous tired and never giving up hinds.. .

Dedicated to my son Samarsh...I Love You!

Spirits in Existence

There is a certain relationship between existence and it's spirituality

Of that stemming from necessity and evolution where the progress of a spirit in existence is concerned 

In certain sects and in many world beliefs the spirit world is a direct pathway to one's own existence.. Through intrinsic retrospection one can really live the livid realms of one's inner soul unperturbed..given the will

With a special interest and away from the magnanimity and Pompous delegations of a conditioned mind, is a spirit soul indulgent in a resplendent magnificence of itself

Aloof from the rigid boundaries of the unsacramental and superficial day to day pulsations of life.. it still thrives

For the nature of the spirit has nothing to do with the worldly behavioral fabric woven by delimiting minds...

A spirit throb must deep dive into the rational modalities of his perceptions.. Into the formalities of the never conforming reclusiveness, of this untamed life..

Never deterred by the segmented reality and always in search of the subtle world it hides...away from the banality and marginal limitness of the projected vagaries of life

The act of introspection maybe of a conscious nature..but the will to submerge into the unknown unfamiliar world's within brings the real uprise

Challenging ones own belief systems and dogmas upheld, in return for a few drops of knowledge from the vast ocean of our very own spirituality and its existence.. 

We sure may have progressed on from being nomads to civilized societies with its vicious divides...

However...Our spirits still stay true to our existence, always waiting for us to take a look inside every once in a while

For the rewards are unfathomable and the experiences are untwined..

The journey will stay it's own course for its the traveller that will bring out the milestones alligned

nested in the comfort of my mommy's loving care I grow big and strong alright!!!
...playfully in my father's arms..i grow to be naughty and get charmed by his sight!

...gonna be 7 months in a week...boy does it seem like I am growing at speed of light...
..from being a cute little boy to mommy and daddy's sparkly eyes full of delight!!!

...looking at the world around gleefully ..welcoming my first summer equinox I gather might..
pondering in my wonderful world of thoughts... I see everything to be joyful and  bright!!

a wonderful smile

I dream of a dream with flashes in my eyes...
My cuty pie has come about as a wonder from the skies...

I hear no sounds but his motherly calls...
His voice becons me from across halls...

His angelic face and daddy and mommy abide   ....
To thosee innocent and fun filled eyes...they have nothing to hide..

A child's dream has a child dreaming alike...
Unweary of the malice or hurting truthfulness of this life..

my tiny bundled of joy, has he wrapped a big surprise...
that wonderful smile and he has melted many a hearts awhile...