Heather, To

Hitherto, I have been living in a society that marks total insolvency of liberal thoughts to be expressed in the social fabric of its glad residents. A little of three years of Qatar has allowed me catch glimpses of beauty in day to day life in such a fashion that now i understand that i was indeed taking beauty for granted too.

Alas, i wonder what else lies in store for me to understand, of the list of things, that i could have taken for granted. Grass i took for granted for sure, rains, sludge walking, fresh flowers, bench warming / pillow talking with women ;), home made food...and the other things that are not listed in here, are also the ones i totally freaked out on or even abused to a certain extent..for example, biking, driving, love, lust, friends, Character, faith, reason, belief, democracy, politics, self motivation, etc. This extensive abuse of the latter also comes as a list of few things i miss today.

Wait...up! Spite!... of the gist i mist today, i have found a way of compensating the void created due to these mist'lings, by budding with life in very strange ways. For instance, the society has absolute monarchy on expression of thoughts in ways rather unfamiliar to its people still...whatever happened to colors, reds, blues, all the indigo colors on clothes, t-shirts with determination syntax's or self proclaimed bull****, or new generation body language (the middle finger), the art of graffiti, pictures of youth rebels, attitude, bumper car stickers, weird accessories on vehicles, freedom of expression through non verbal infiltration. There we go...another list of a few more things whose absence i have started to observe, and hence the attention!

Now, getting back to the strange take on life, budding after all the mist'lings...here comes the mother of all...the language barrier. Though the beauty of multi ethnicity beckons a beam of new learning from cultures across the pan arab countries, there are striking differences in languages and cultures as such, a good note for someone who speaks the local tongue. For others who do not speak the tongue, its the grace of non verbal talking, which is pretty much in admiration of beauty of cultures in its physical form and of its people in their display of respective ethnic persona.

Beautiful people, from the inside...from the outside,...looking through the veils of suspended fabric, a glance of glory for the mutually loving personality godhead unionist. Vibes so ethnic in their roots, yet so well matched towards the sophistication of the comfort living, welcome to the art of seekers keepers!

Beauty lies in the eye of the Beholder! True...very true, but the intensity with which the beholder is seeking this beauty depends on what interesting thoughts our seekers perceives of beauty. I am very indigenous in vibes if not auras yet, to already tell the interesting thought in the mind that got instigated and took off as a physical indulgence of locks. Grabbed a few inferences with some amazingly beautiful people, who remind me of this new found interest of reading the beautiful thought before seeing them come through beautiful eyes. An anticipated visionary with out any sonic interferences...

Mind reading is the thing of the past now, one does not rely on ones ability to read a persons thoughts, instead...its a new wave. The seeker says: 'How beautiful of you to have thought what i wanted you to think..., how would you like me to see through you, or would you rather i hear you out.'

A little provocative in nature, our seeker is well (Al)armed on every pulse of the beauty's beholding vibes. A step further could be an intense advancement of the insides, that no words ever be spoken before at least a single physical indication of conformation of mutual presence in the sphere of love.

Call it infatuation or call it love at first sight, the fact remains that even before a physical sigh of attraction was released into the thin air of compassion, the thought already had made love with the beauty it was seeking and had found. The deliverance of love or lust does not hold any importance as yet, for the unspoken is yet to unleash its love in verbal petals of anticipation of the beauty already appreciated by our seeker.

And now, if our seeker is spell bound with beauty...lets not blame his love for the (need not necessarily be speaking) ever so significant Heather.

Mushroom Soup for Mind

Today i not only feel different,but i also see differently, see through the eyes of a backbencher, totally lost in his own world, irrespective and uninterested in the unfolding saga that the rest of my compatriots are so diligently participative about. For the path i walk needs me to get a view of things at the last thought point, a point from where, if only asked for, can someone as passive as me can relate his words to, for the process of watching and listening and learning for me only stops when i am interrupted. My wanderings may be way beyond the saga of life, but my involvement in things are just as deep as a lion watching its prey with the attention and detail and measuring his distance from the situation where it will be soon the dominant pilot, or responsible for having called upon...to exert his prominence.

An amateur learner, an enthusiastic observer and a keen doer of the routine. With virtues like these, which are out of the ordinary for the thinker, are responsible for the thoughful to live a life with persistent deliverance of his duties while still being able to be on the back bench. A passive state of mind, or a passive personality, as a good friend had told me recently, i was not taken back by her comments, as i during my course of learning life, have pondered upon situations, which have allowed me to take total control of things by sheer nature of love and the level of excitement and enthusiasm that comes naturally from within me. But the passiveness has stuck with me for since i have decided to be a keep observer and a person who likes to listen to watch more than be in the forefront of action.This has started to give me a lot of time to do a recall on if a situation had been called for by me from recent times. i no more seem to be interested in the falling of situations in place for me to understand, all i seem to be interested in is how accurately have i predicted the comming of a situation. The clairvoyant eye is looking for signs of comfirmances and the real eye is giving glances of presence with the around, knowing the importance of mutual visionary science. We see together on a situation, we may see two different perspectives. An optimist and a pessimist. A believer and an alchemist, a mystic and a scientific, a futuristic and a retrograde, a leader and a follower, a rebel and a contemporary. Never thought just two people can be so much fun...just one situation can teach you so much.

A human mind is a conceiver of all his deeds, and his non dominant palm shows the destiny he was born with and his dominant palm shows the way he has taken his destiny and his course of action all along to do what he has done to be what he is at any stage in life. These signs are electro magnetic lines created by the brain on the palm and can tell much about a persons past, his present and his future life. A mindful gist to sum up the less than 10% of bran that an average human uses to get through life with ease. Pretty brainy aih! The hand thus becomes very important for a person to shape his own luck. Everybody's destiny lies in his own hands, as long as he is a believer in it. Otherwise its the alchemists head. I am a mix of both, and still passive, can you believe that!

My fascination of holding hands has led my new interest to stages and phases where, now i can even hold a persons hands, and by feeling the temperature and softness of their hands, can tell what behold for them in the near and distant future. The time lines are so clearly marked on a persons hands that some facts are hard to miss, yet there are some hands that i have seen that totally beat the odds of cheiromancy. Thre is one such hand i have recently seen, it was of a lady, she was 40 years old, and her life line was cut in half and discontinued for her to be living at the age she was living. I still have not concluded on this instance with any of my reference from various knowledge sources as to how this is possible. This is where i understood that no matter how much you learn from texts, on practical applications,there are a lot more exceptions that one can think of. Now its just these exceptions that interest me. I want to meet people who are exceptionally something. A last of their own breed. People with genuine takes on life. Who are bent on exploring the world around them in their own style. Every time i hold a hand of such a special person, the contagion of his warmth readily travels through my body to tell me so much about the person without have to have spoken a word...not that i am that good at just picking hands without a word, but its really not that tough. In fact, nothing is tough as long as the going is on admirable basis only ;)

So this whole thing about the mind, and feeding it with thoughts of admiration and of people who are exceptional somethings, has been keeping me busy all through my times in silent contemplations...i do not find myself bored anymore. At least not as easily as i used to be earlier. The mind garden of carefully selected and well tended roses has made its home with me, the essence of which devours my senses 24/7.

They say, if one has had a physical relationship with someone, his mind is psychically connected to this person for a period of 15 years. Isn't that quite amazing. I would never believe in one night stands anymore. But it is only true again, if you are at least using an above average 3% of your brains capacity. Or all my one night stands would keep comming back to me on regular intervals of psychic callings, lol. Not that i do not try, its just that, i really dont know how much % of my brain capacity is being used when my heart is at work. An irony, but is true. The severed heart/head connection. Or maybe one needs to rightfully elevate himself to a certain point beyond which it truly doesn't matter, love is seeming oozing from his heart and his head. This thought pattern will perform a role reversal as i start giving more of my heart to the logic in life and more of my head to the feelings that surround.... Till than, in total appreciation of the behaviorial contra-diction.

On Understanding Itself...

This blog is totally dedicated to my perception of the fathomable LIFE!

Grass is important, Grass grows everywhere, Grass is the most simplest of the things and the most common too, Grass makes a dry land look like a pleasant delight to the eyes, it invites people to get earthed with cushion, protecting it from the harsh terrain of the earth, grass elicits dignity in simplicity to me.

Of the other things that need to be given it's due share of importance are the sun, Water, Soil, Seeds, mother, animals, human body, respect for others, innocence, virtue of truth, ideas, imagination, dreams, one's heart, books, cultures, history, virtue of peace and one's own soul.

The journey from Grass to soul is an ardent journey of man from a single cellular cell to a complex living being with emotions, with distractions, with peace, with love, with evolution to be the dominant creature created ever, and with a plausible sense of understanding of his metamorphosis.

Today, the present date, as i write this blog, is today, because of a chain of events that are totally out of control of anybody and are well guided by the very charm of nature in a relentless process seemingly inexhaustible to man. Thus today, as i think before i write, i think of yesterday when the idea of writing this was conceived, the flow had to be totally dependent on the fluctuating ways of the mind, not a bit under my control as i please. So i let the nature of it run wild and deep.

Appreciable to it's grace on me now, i think of the future, the future again is going to be from the chain of events of yesterday and today, the idea conceived to the flow of my mind to put it down to when i will realize the completion of this chain by another thought that would be beyond and over this subject in writing.

Now the subject in writing for me today is nothing but to see if my fingers are in control of the mind or if my mind is in control of the fingers, if there is any sort of coordination what so ever with what i think and what i want to see.

I see today as history already, for this very moment when is say it, i am going to read it the next moment as past. So if this rhythm is what keeps nature going, i can imagine how relentless and precise as it is, is nature in working out a schedule so grand. A moment after another, a Second after another, a minute after another, a day after another, an year after another, a life after an another, a generation after another, a decade after another, a century after another, a millennia after another, it is mind blowing to what fathomable levels a mind can go only if given the right sort of training and understanding of the life's repertoire of events. What is at one moment is not the other.

I belong to the group of people under the sign Sagittarius, the most philosophical of all the signs, and the most flirt y too. People under this sign have been blessed with a keen sense of observing things from the inside out. A single introspection or a why can lead to a chain of thoughts beyond our perceivable sense of imagination.

A moment to another, a thought to another, the facade of mind field swiftly moves to what my next thought is going to look like. This intensity of imagination in the material norms of a conceptual mind holds one's thought to take a good look at the world around and to proceed in this constantly changing placid field with greater ease.

So all my writings are a good mix of the reality and the way i would like to perceive it. A good coincidence comes handy to confirm my flow with things around. And it comes in different forms, it's just that now i am so used to having them that deja vu's don't make sense anymore.

A state of mind where i have had this symposium with the inside and the outside of the me, let's me to tell coincidences to come as and when i want. What i seek is true to it's nature of my understanding to it. What i have read is not going to be wasted without me having to find out if it is accountable for a situation if i want to create it.

Is that how well i know myself, i don't know, but that's another coincidence. I think i do.

The television air's everything that is new in this world, everything being thought about people from my generation, they are willing to explore every possible leeway to get ahead in spreading their thoughts. The no of channels through which one can express his thoughts is pretty amazing considering the fact that our Pineal glands have become the size of an peanut from what they used to be, the size of a ping-pong ball at least.

You may ask me what does A Pineal glad has to do with the different channels of communication, well. it’s simple, earlier when man was more evolved than he is today (today, if you take his cell phone, his laptop, his Car, his credit cards, his i-mate's, his i-pod's, his stimulants, his tech.savy image) and leave him wandering in a city full of such devoid people, he may die of the want of things taken away from him rather than try to understand that evolution can be reversed for good if a collective went praying for the better of the worse.

So, this pineal gland, as i have read, was an important part of the brain, and was responsible for clairvoyance, telepathy and all the psychic normal behavior exhibited by learned men back in the days of no telephony.

The dependence of man upon his own inventions makes me wonder (as i read, has not done no good to us), why were these inventions sprouting out of the human minds after all. They sure were sprouting for the want of it or the need of it, or maybe for the complete communal want of something that they have been shown and have been made to read.

A guiding force, or rather a misguiding force is in complete control of certain channels that are leading this lovely civilization towards and absolute anarchy by technology dependence. This is not my version of a conspiracy theory, this is what i understand from what i see, and i am a part of this confused lot.

I seek answers to certain things, for which, even though i find the answers, may not be able to do anything but ponder upon the massive force and it's evil mindedness.

The good will out number the bad and the bad will out number the good, and there will be an end to this world, Hello...who has time to think about all this, for one i thing i know for sure, that is...it's not going to come to an end by the time i am buried in the hatchet. So my contribution to this world will be this blog, which one day will become a part of a book that i would write, and exclusively ask for any one of the pages to be read before i am laid in peace. Not for the fear that i should not go unheard, that way i have a lot of time in life to do what the wise men did, but that relentless pursuit towards life will devoid me of my socio-financio-mutually- admirable stance with my fellow worldies.

I would want at least a page of this book to be read just for the reason that, i can remember, i tried to live life every moment, in it's abstractness, in it's multitudinous, in it's beauty, in it's charm, and i created moments as i was living them, to relish them as they became past every passing second.

A chain reaction takes place and a thought takes over another, a seed takes over a tree, a grass blade heads another inch up towards the sun, a man heads another step towards his own liberation. Hears his own experience through his words before that final step and feels blessed.

Spare me the guilt, spare me the contradictions, spare me the regular mundane looking down upon people as thought they are scum and totally mesmerized by one's own achievement’s and one's own desire for a life full filling to the core, but with the virtue or vice of additionalities invented out of sheer communal misguided future relying totally on the unmeasured un-equilibrated thought pool of the material dwelling society.

The daunt of my own incapability to contribute right away without having all the time i need to first get to a state from where i can think about it, is really taking up all my thinking time, and in this time i have started to dwell on silence, and in this silence i hear everything that i want to hear, everything i want to see, every dream that would want to come true...it's all here...it's a process that i start off defining as my incapability and continue stating as the very reason why i don't want to be dependent merely on medium totally created out of imagination of geniuses to substitute this very golden silence.

A day dreamer by noon, a placid dreamer by the night, now i distinguish colors so well with my inner vision that i could tell the dreams are not in black and white.
I saw golden last night as my face wash flashing in my head to break the solitude sleep grants, that's when i realize it's time to get up and found that my alarm did not go for i did not set it the previous night. My face wash is Blue.

I have not seen blue yet in my dreams, the very fact the placid relates to blue, and dreams relate to the sub-conscious and the super-conscious me, i will be looking forward to a more deeper insight into the workings of my mind, face wash or no face wash.

I am sure it's too late from where i am starting, but i am not apprehensive about the path i am going to take, for, my research suggests that a balance has already been struck with me and my people, i am accepted the way i am no matter where i go, for i mean no harm to no one and can talk my heart and mind out at any given situation depending on what the situation demands.

The natural me is striving to go further from this point and explore the immense possibilities of a human mind and unleash my unspoken into the unknown and wait for an echo to come back to me saying...You were right after all...come thence further more...you have already started...now there is no looking back...you already hear this echo and it is the next moment that you won't. But you have spoken your wish...and your wish has to be but granted for your next step is ready to launch another assault to your seemingly subdued ego in it's due course of expanding the horizon to a continuous blank sheet of bright white spread to the point of no return and you stand holding a brush like you hold a new born baby in your hand, careful not to mishandle it and at the same time seamlessly jubilant and overflowing with joy watching it perceive the world around it as new as it can be....

Splurge the paint with my baby-holding grip on the brush, on this white stretch of unknown, unseen continuum of peace and serenity, with imagination like a bird on a wing, soaring a trajectory of zero gravity and suspending the paint as drops of pearls in it's own luster of animation and then dropping with splashes bigger then their conceived forms, leaving a beautiful trail of everlasting effervescence disappearing in the same trajectory of zero gravity as thought they hit a wall of clear glass.

This past hour, all the thoughts that have come to my mind with some spare distractions to the mundane work, i have penned down as an ongoing experience with learning to love life in every minute detail of it's expression.

I really wish i have more undisturbed hours like this one! But than i will have to reduce my pace of work or await thunderbolts to get the place go down crashing except my desk...lol.

My HopelessNest

My HopelessNest

The realm of under-stand is a broader avenue to the hearts and minds of my fellow middle men, the not so ordinary and the not so extra ordinary.

Today i write this blog with a genuine interest in relating to my own self the innumerable ways by which one can connect to his own middle self, the conscious one with a sheer heart of meditative count...a pulse of intense but loose flow of the loveons, impulses of the intermediary kind, dedication of a knowledge seeker, vision of a fundamentalist, and with the spirit of a soaring non-hierarchial self grounded bliss inducted person.

In this search for the sublime spot light, my middle man is in constant inter action with the tumultuous thoughts wavering through the web of the indigenous community, trying to grasp what is it that makes this mundane but down to reality innumerablia what it is. The fight to differentiate myself from the contemporary will last for as long as i will remain myself, but the add-ons to myself with options of flexibility towards the bow-somic cosmo-politia are numbered so few in their initiatives that an amateur gardner regarded a desert rose hard to find.But then this very gardner grew it of his sheer imaginative tendencies for a mirage in a desert is a commonly occuring phenomena and it is indeed all about the excepted norms.

The fight differentiation ends with myself as much natural as myself.

In it's own sense gratification and of the good world and of the samartan civilization, i am in a melange irrevocable and insensitive to my natural instinct...now if this is good and against my forced will to accept the way things are around me and label them as right or wrong as per the thoughts of the emminent-aries...here i come to you as a man with thoughtful inclination towards you and me. Towards us of which i am but a step one closer to you.

Hold my hand and show me how we are going to work this burden out together, for i am lost without the fear of the end. If this is the end to a usual me in pursuit of the unknown and the extra ordinary..than i am lying in wait for the extra ordinary to come to me this time around. The sense gratification is in the common and mutual interest of my contribution to the new world order, lest i start fearing the end again.

After my vacation last year to India, i have acquired this responsibile me so carelessly that, carelessness and hopelessness are the new and improved me. Or rather the new ingridients of a better me.

This new way of being accepted is acceptable to me, and seems like it is to others too...i have forgotten all my mono-logical interests with a fine morning that brought so much light throught the window that, i realized i am back in the land where the sun shines all the time.

This is the after effect of a non-illuminati experience laced with a lot of travel and learnings from people so innocent and self-involved, they have given up on the thoughts of bring about a change of any contributory manner. My peace rests with them and I belong myself one more time to the bossom of destiny with no intention what so ever to the time and space distribution. It's these people who i met and from who i understood that life is not but one puzzle that can only be solved with patience and lots of food ;)

Of imminence to these people i enthrust my distant presence...to their simplicity i ensure my continued learnings, to their love i agree equivocally with all my genre differences and inner cultural similarities.

For who behold me from them now, as who behold them from telling me now...To who beholds who anymore now... for i am feeling totally hopeless.

Fathom Devor

Aced with the studded count of fatom devour, i am in the top but one stop of the new anarchy of mutual adherence to simplicity through garnered common interests. The distance to travel is unmassable by sheer visibility of the common goals...but interests beyond the event horizon of the farthest kind.

Is the new learn curve up the social ladder for a person comming for an absolute civilization of the youth..the transformation seems sweet in it's essence of submitting to me the generation shift of a new marquee already...The definion and mode of this shiwf as applied by the new man will stand an exemplified perseverance towards the very count life.

Enticed by the charm transition of the world formation..that is...a new world around the world that i have more understanding and learning from, this cultural amalgamation, this very rhetoric, this sense persistance towards the melange of the new and the newer..is taking all my peace for a better living...and in the wake of a spontaneous culmination of varied thoughts comming from a versatile era of awe inspiring self acclaimed personality god-heads, i would like to stream all the vesions of this count life in one straight chain of non-mechanical or rather a more vivid experience of the unknown.

Regardful of the delighful, sensitive of the communal and an expotent of the utilitarian, the nu breed so to say is all-in to set marks of a new bench kind..the one that advises a complete make over of the mark itself...a new transformation to the readiness of a propulsion..that will expell the scientific and the religious to a new fatom of deliverance through their own sheer will of acceptance...to...the new promoters of life...countless in their numbers and innumerous in their own specif approaches towards the live and jive conceptual up roar...we will head the revolution of finding neverland shangri-la or the new eutopia right from within our realms of dexterity, callous affinity, apetite for joy and the devour itself-ivity.

The Repertoire

I blog this dedication to all the anomalies of subsequent unlearnings.

The backdrop is life again, for what else is there to understand than the very existence of presence... presence of existence.

No matter how well I understand this everyday struggle to unification with the multitude forces that seem to be influencing my way of life, decision making abilities, 5 sensular affections, multi dimensional chaos and it's order, all the visible indicators of absolute anarchy so much in tune to distract you from your day to day emancipation. The sheer game of life at it's synchrony with one's worst nightmares...lol...and i haven't even taken life as it comes, for now , that sure needs some determination and single spirit vision. No, i am not talking about MPD's or spontaneous combustions yet....just plain simple single spirit wanting moi.

Make a wish...but beware what you wish for, for lately the chain of coincidences have a total control over my understanding. Or rather, my understandings of anything standing...incessantly relating to the sub-conscious chain...the chain within the chain...the understanding within the understanding...a perception within another perception...a point in a point...a little bit of this..and a little bit of that...all seem to be tearing my mind in such blissful fashion of an in depth dive, that now i just want to rest in the static/kinetic divide.

How do i conjure this pleasant gift without being gifted....how do i work up to be gifted...or maybe i just need inspiration to define the understanding which is already on it's way...how can i complete something that i have started, still not knowing if it is started after all...

the perception is edgy, the perception is quick, the smouldering is so irresistible, so ravenous...that today's emancipation may have no way out but to burn...burn every day, and there is nothing left of me...so much to a clear understanding of my stand on life and it's multi-stimulatory design...for the first time i want to run...run straight into the core...a dash...that may just not be a - up to liberation...it may just become the big ------- to liberation.

With so many gaps yet left unfilled, the process is leading up to me as if it were to reveal to me the divides from the divide not's, the visionary from the multi-visionary...perceptive off course, the strides to the multiple strides...to the fill in the voids, to the non-voids, the sensational marquee full of colours, the colours scintillating to the sound of the inner divine...the dance...i(r)onic...for the next moment, there is no space left for Irony...the spaces are to befitting and self centric to it's very nature of being...

I need a walk to be able to run again...need to run to be able to dash again...need to dash to be able to crash again...to crash to be able to get up again...to get up again..never to look back ever on the myriad benevolence that pushed me away from itself for a wild crash into the seemingly unknown.

Now i hold no fear to falling...hold nothing dear that keeps calling...if there is absolutely nothing that i have learnt from my past, it is because i have learned what i wish to keep Dear and Unlearned the rest.

Sacred Elegance

Consecrated beauty with elegant locks, what is this, a dead-lock with beauty.
The spirited body and it's mindful soul is on a voyage of identity with elegance again. Is there an inspiration to beauty that beauty would like to look at and shy upon, herself.

Precarious to the imaginative self, i ponder again on the new horizon of defined interests. So well versed in it's own spectacle, the libertine looks up to another era of definitude. Caressing the ligering moments of your pristine presence, the hopeless is again mesmerized by your chalice.

Poised is the state of bliss, a little hiss, and another miss...