My Differentiable Guise

 When I last remembered myself, i was a child.

When i recollect myself today am still a bit wild

No way, anyways we have to get it alive

Never would there ever be time, cuz it's this moment or it's a strive

trying to bring this ambiguity to some surmise

doomed to it's hesitance i can't derive

further to and from here.. and i can't be arrived

bringing it to this moment as am deprived

knowing the masters and their benevolent rise

the journey seems tough yet with a reprise

if i ever learn to survive with a smile

it will be that beauty.. but only for a while

slithered through though, through these notions beguile

oh masters when will i ever finally arrive

this constant motion for this engaging divide

this pricking sobreity ...this magnanimous stride

let me go to this place whenever i die

where angels lay in wait but not to derive

for if there is solace in this forever strive

let me just tell you..

am alive ...am alive

This nothingness of everything

This is my most prudent effort to all the nothingness i find in everything these days

A very mild yet equivocal summation of my forbearing thoughts this year

Representing the very best and the very worst of that very best

A catapult dive into the carefully navigated trenches of the conditioned

To a moment of solidarity and a brief handshake with the indomitable Mr. Spirit

and a quick reflection of the outside world as it appears from the vantage point of it all

Never such a tendency to never rise back.. Never such an unseen perception of the far away exterior

Only to briefly hold my senses ransom am I given this moment
And Of the immense limitation it already is to not be

Ahoy and behold your captive senses for the mighty spirit is awakened
Only for a moment of solidarity.. Only for a moment of singularity

Awaken still to the purpose of this life and holding on to this momentary reflection I hear a voice within

You can't stay here longer in this nested paradise of your souls warm caress

And the spirit ran back to the comfort of the superficial and the sedate livery of this world

Leaving nothing but a trace of the serendipity..leaving nothing but a luminous trail back to obscurity

Leaving nothing but an unquenched thirst for a bit more
Of the true identity of this soul with its surprises galore

I leave the comfort of my home...
I leave the shelter of my soul..

Verbal Vortex of a talking soul

When you see that you are seeing yourself while you are seeing yourself.. This is what I hear myself say

You are just a beautiful friend, not a stranger from another galaxy, not a common mortal from an uncommon dimension..

You are who you are..a free spirit tired in the duality of existence..

Where the desire to free your self gets weighed down by this world's senseless gratification towards instant reward...

Trapped deep within layers of conditioned consciousness and unable to express your true self

You are fighting on a different ground and you are not going to loose it , for the world around you is to blatant to understand..

You are fighting it to prove it to nobody but yourself and that you didn't begin this to not know how to end it..

But you know you have to end it one day. The charade is despicable... And when you do end it can only be strewn deeper into a million more layers till it shines forth

Never is there a time to say no because you woke up today to know more..

I know you know I don't know you as much as I would like to but you don't know how much I already do to not tell you or for you to ever know

Your loving soul

Time'us

Waiting for the eternity to entwine into itself so that there is no reference point in time that you can't turn back to and

for the continuum to keep on keeping on till you get all that you deserve or till you get to that point when you get another chance to deserve what you begot

If not then there has to be a knot.. Not in the time dimension but in the way the space between two memories starts to shrink to a point where all you can want is a neural leap

or your perception to break and you tie the two distant memories back from where the perpetual bending of time and space has to carry itself over this thought..

a breaking point for this time story or more like time ditching time again

Raindrop

Oh no.. .. just like that when it rains from behind a place we call heavens.. Obscured by the dark clouds that mire my mind yet I feel the journey of that drop traveling all the way hitherto onto your pale and parched skin and bloom it to life. Till now it's was just an anonymous drop now it's resplendent on you like a glow from the same heaven from where it started its journey but lost mid way owing to the weathered storm we call life

The Ephemeral Dance of Infinitude

here's to probable universes in one  dimension
though we can't see one

here's to multitudes of dimensions in each realm
though we can't see one

here's to a plethora of realm's in every reality
though we can't see one

here's to multiple realities for every moment
though we can't see one

here's to those numerous moments in that one blink
though we can't see one

here's to every paradigm that that blink brings
though we can't see one

here's to those multiple paradigm's extrovert'ing out into a thought vertex
thought we can't see one

here's to such vertices in many spaces
though we can't see one

here's to all those spaces in all of our realities
though we can't see one

here's to all those regressions in these multiple realities
though we can't see one

here's to all the probabilities to each of these regressor's
though we can't see one

here's to every co-efficient that probability brings for that new angle
though we can't see one

here's to any material tangibility that worked on that angle
though we can't see one

here's to any angle in the material existences that co-efficiently leneated a materiality
though we can't see one

here's to all the atomic particles that are looking like god in this materiality
though we can't see one

here's to all the unknown god particles that are dancing to this rhythm
thought we can't see one

here's to the dance of such an ephemeral life
though we can't see one!!!!!!!!!!

This Forever Invi(n)sible Divide

I have lived through limitless thoughts that shout and split one through the minute

I have saved my mind through the pinnacles and depths of emptiness it seems

There is never a moment of respite from a cold'ened heart of many winters

There is no measure to gauge the emptiness of a cold and immesurable soul lost in splinters

There is only one point of sanity or inner place of sanctity somewhere in the unfathomable middle

There is only one point of concentration ..the moment of truth sitting in a solemn self explained dribble

Ridiculous as it may sound the fear of vast emotions that empty themselves at the rate of million thoughts per day is not an easily understood ordeal

A day at a time is too lame for this moment to moment existence either

My only solitude or solace for the lack of a better word to existence is my prayer to this unknown

My everyday conversation with the universe within to see If its listening to my pleadings

After all that's the realm i can't see and that's where lies my darkest unknown fears too and there is so much of no reflection

The most gracious prayer i can have for this universe within and the external universe without after years and years of not trying to know

For what I have lost ..the ability to distinguish between any of these finer realms and this is not an innate loss of the mundane cognition that I thrive to strive on materially

There is just no reason unbelievable, no thought unthinkable, no action un-followable and no words unspeakable that can define this kind of long endured sanity

This is a realm of the empty, sphere of the void and the dimension of no return ..no vantage points to even observe what's changing from what's changed

This is me when i am more lost then confused and less mindful then would care to know if you would mind

But please please forgive me if my mindless words hurt you ever now or whenever . . i retract not the unspoken for the fear of guilt is overpowered the notion and still cant express the spoken for the freedom of expression hinges on to this very limitedly

For I have chosen to always be split continuously between particle matter and energy waves where my words were half thought and my kindness and chivalry forever lost and I always fought

These scary depths were very frightening from moment to moment but these were also my many years of serenity founded on this invincible divide

Split up to my pains and rounded up against my happier gains
I am no mercenary of the sober neither am i a sucker for insane ..i only remain
My limitations are still very unique and i only see them through the shades of a ripened grain husk

No matter how hardly i try i cant escape these boons and banes ...suffer i must ..i must

Away from normality its never going to be a shame ..man of my instincts ..they always let me 
Know whether i am ever going to be in the game