This Forever Invi(n)sible Divide

I have lived through limitless thoughts that shout and split one through the minute

I have saved my mind through the pinnacles and depths of emptiness it seems

There is never a moment of respite from a cold'ened heart of many winters

There is no measure to gauge the emptiness of a cold and immesurable soul lost in splinters

There is only one point of sanity or inner place of sanctity somewhere in the unfathomable middle

There is only one point of concentration ..the moment of truth sitting in a solemn self explained dribble

Ridiculous as it may sound the fear of vast emotions that empty themselves at the rate of million thoughts per day is not an easily understood ordeal

A day at a time is too lame for this moment to moment existence either

My only solitude or solace for the lack of a better word to existence is my prayer to this unknown

My everyday conversation with the universe within to see If its listening to my pleadings

After all that's the realm i can't see and that's where lies my darkest unknown fears too and there is so much of no reflection

The most gracious prayer i can have for this universe within and the external universe without after years and years of not trying to know

For what I have lost ..the ability to distinguish between any of these finer realms and this is not an innate loss of the mundane cognition that I thrive to strive on materially

There is just no reason unbelievable, no thought unthinkable, no action un-followable and no words unspeakable that can define this kind of long endured sanity

This is a realm of the empty, sphere of the void and the dimension of no return ..no vantage points to even observe what's changing from what's changed

This is me when i am more lost then confused and less mindful then would care to know if you would mind

But please please forgive me if my mindless words hurt you ever now or whenever . . i retract not the unspoken for the fear of guilt is overpowered the notion and still cant express the spoken for the freedom of expression hinges on to this very limitedly

For I have chosen to always be split continuously between particle matter and energy waves where my words were half thought and my kindness and chivalry forever lost and I always fought

These scary depths were very frightening from moment to moment but these were also my many years of serenity founded on this invincible divide

Split up to my pains and rounded up against my happier gains
I am no mercenary of the sober neither am i a sucker for insane ..i only remain
My limitations are still very unique and i only see them through the shades of a ripened grain husk

No matter how hardly i try i cant escape these boons and banes ...suffer i must ..i must

Away from normality its never going to be a shame ..man of my instincts ..they always let me 
Know whether i am ever going to be in the game

Thought voiding Time

... The question is why do we think so much?

Is it because our lives are a scripted saga of emotions  strangely responsive to forever changing external stimuli

Well for all I know..our minds won't atleast readily quell the prevaricated bearings of seemingly inferior intellect which we have no ways to trace to any legacy for now without relativity

Additionally... We are party to such grand evolutionary cycles that our cluttered minds with its limited time can't even fathom itself out of its immediate cytoplasmic bound existence

Or is it that our ability to chase a thought back to its origins and to wrestle it down with our reasoning of what we thought could have been the point of its origination isn't exactly where we see the dots being connected either?

Well.. If not then it has got to be somewhere deep in the middle of our sub conscious and conditioned reason, where we probably feel the need to harbour to relativity so that the fear of the unknown doesn't sweep the ground underneath us is where we stop being thoughtless momentarily atleast?

And somewhere from there to when we try to surface up to our sensory cognition, we loose our way and wonder if we are being subjective to our own perceived reality ... This time loosing thoughtlessness one unintended thought every entwine

This ingenuity of flawed perception, this relentless pursuit of subjugation, this sustained degradation of thought, this necessary introspection of benignness leading us to know-where land meets sky kind of horizons always?

Yet grounded to its feet and with eyes glued to this seemingly bottomless horizon of thoughtfullness lies the poor man whose search for freedom from this vestige and this visceral sublimity ...should it come any sooner,  grant  him the courage to raise his vision far beyond the seen, the felt and the known nature of this time bound thought

And still somewhere into this unknown zone  is where the spirit unites with the soul and where the search for anything Unknown far superceeds the search of origin... Outside of our no relating minds and into our super conscious souls... One necessary thought less thought with time voiding time